Rusty Metal
by Wistful Mindscape
Summary: Ol' Ashley Williams has stepped in it now. Trapped in god knows where, he and your favorite KC detectives gotta get away from a psychopath. Little does he know that past experiences have given him a special power in here. First fanfic. Evil Within belongs to Bethesda and Tango Gameworks and Evil Dead belongs to Sam Raimi and MGM. Paused.
1. Crashing The Joint

The rain came down in droves; it was a normal evening, at least it started like that. The city was quiet; not much traffic as the rain pitter pattered through the streets. Outside of the city was a forest filled to the brim with pine trees. On an old dirt road came a brown Oldsmobile, restored to how it was back in the eighties. Elvis Presley's greatest hits were in the tape deck and Viva Las Vegas was blaring out on the speakers. In the backseat was a closed khaki bag on top of a cleaned chainsaw. In the shotgun seat was a rusty shotgun from S-mart with the yellow logo still on the stock. Driving the vehicle was a man with bushy black hair, brown eyes and a pronounced chin. He wore a light blue button down shirt and khakis with a belt. The most interesting part of him was his right hand, it wasn't a hand at all; it actually looked like a medieval gauntlet to the untrained eye. You'd be right in thinking that, but it also served as a prosthetic limb for the man. As he drove, he had his arm sticking out the window while singing along with the song.

Just then, he felt a vibration in his pocket and took out his cell phone and answered it. "Hey, Wendy! Was just thinking about you." A women's voice answered, "Ash, thank god you're okay! What the hell happened!?"

"Sorry, I was on my way back when _another_ portal came out of nowhere and brought me to the coast and there were a shit ton of deadites and-"

"You know what, its fine, just when are you getting home?"

"Dunno, maybe a day or two?" Wendy groaned. "Alright, just be safe, I love you."

"Love you too gorgeous." She hung up first before Ash put his phone back in his pocket. A few yards ahead, he saw a sign reading: Krimson City, exit 5 miles. Ash said, "Maybe there's a decent joint to crash; least its not another cabin in the woods, god forbid." Ash turned into a large, brightened tunnel before getting into the city. "Now where are the motels..?" After thirty minutes, his player started acting up, throwing static and skipping. "Oh come on you piece of-" A barrage of static came at him, hurting his ears and nothing more before going back to playing Presley's hits. Ash pulled the car over and groaned, "Looks like she needs another trip to the shop." Ash looked at his surroundings for a second and then stopped as he turned right. He saw a large gate with the words Beacon Mental hospital emblazoned on it. Behind it was an old building with what looked like a miniature lighthouse on it. In its courtyard were several police cars, all empty with on doors and flashing sirens. A normal person would probably drive away, but Ash squinted and stared at the scene for a minute before turning on his car and entering the courtyard saying "Why in the hell am I doing this? WHY!?" He parked the oldsmobile next to a cop car and got out into the rain. "And me without my umbrella." Ash walked to the wooden door and knocked his hand against it; no answer. "Guess I'll be letting myself in."

Before he could open the doors, another police car entered the yard. Out came two men and a woman. One man was with a scruffy face, rugged brown hair, piercing eyes, a brown trenchcoat, vest, white shirt, brown pants and a tie under his shirt. The other was dressed similarly but without a trenchcoat and with glasses, black gloves, sleek black hair and brown eyes. The woman had light, short brown hair, turquoise eyes and wore jeans, a belt with her gun in holster, high heeled shoes and a white shirt. With the rain coming down, her shirt became see-through exposing her black bra underneath, but it didn't faze either of the male officers. As they approached Ash he called out to them casually, "If it ain't the boys in blue, I was starting to worry that I'd be all alone here with this mess." The man in the trenchcoat looked at Ash's car when he got close enough and his eyes widened before drawing his pistol and barked, "Hands behind your head!"

"What's the problem?" Ash whined.

"I said hands behind your head, NOW!" Ash's eyes grew and he said a slight ooh before complying. The man in the trenchcoat got behind Ash and subsequently handcuffed him. "Joseph," he called to the other man. "Check the car."

"Right." Joseph searched the car while the man in the trenchcoat looked through Ash's pockets. He found Ash's wallet and took out his license, "Ashley Williams, huh?" The woman let out a small snicker after hearing her coworker. "The name's Ash, if you don't mind."

"Sebastian," Joseph called.

"What'd you find?"

"Gear straight out of a horror film; there's a rusty shotgun, a _chainsaw_ , some cultist artifacts and enough shotgun shells to massacre a town."

"What happened to the second amendment?" Ash whined. "Joseph," Sebastian called, "Look inside." Joseph made his way to the door and slowly opened it, wincing for a second. "Sebastian, you need to see this." Sebastian handed Ash to the woman and looked inside; when he saw what was in there he gasped sharply and his eyes widened. He turned around and quickly grabbed Ash by the collar and looked at him with narrow eyes. "Why? Why did you do this?"

"Hey, buddy, I just got here, I didn't do jack-shit before you guys came. Besides what is 'this'?" At the end of the sentence, Joseph opened the doors to reveal the brutal scene: a dozen or so bodies adorned the lobby, each horrifically slaughtered with their blood decorating the area around each of them. Ash looked at it and said woah before casually saying, "So, think it was a demon, horde of deadites?"

"Is this a game to you!?" Joseph yelled.

"This kinda shit has happened to me so often that, yeah, it kinda is a game." Sebastian turned to the woman, "Kidman, put him in the back of the car, we'll want him for questioning."

"Okay." Kidman grabbed Ash and pushed him along as he said, "Easy, easy." Sebastian returned to the door, "When you're done, stay here on lookout."

"But I can help,"

"We need someone to cover our way out and Connelly will be having his hands full with him." Kidman replied with a calm alright before shoving Ash into the back seat of the patrol car. In front of him was a man in an officer's uniform with combed brown hair. "Sooo," Ash transitioned, "Nice weather you got here."

"Quiet," the officer snapped. "Okay, okay. Sorry for trying to make some conversation." Ash looked out the window and sighed, bored out of his mind. Just then, he saw a pale figure in a tattered white cloak staring at him in the rain. Ash turned to Connelly, "Hey, do you see that guy there?" There came no answer. "Hey, buddy, I'm talking to you!"

"He can't hear you." Ash turned his head to the right to see the figure next to him and the door gone. Ash then saw that he was covered in burns throughout his body, "The hell happened to you, you get mauled by a bear?" The man snickered at the misdiagnosis and spoke in a gravelly voice, "That was the stupidest thing I have ever heard."

"Well, what do you want, kid, I ain't a doctor." The smile vanished from his face, "True. You are not an officer, nurse, doctor or patient, so what are you doing here?"

"Hell if I know." The smile returned to the man's face. "I think I'm going to enjoy watching you break, so here's a little gift." The man was briefly replaced by snow from a tv screen before vanishing. Ash then felt that there was something missing: the handcuffs. He felt his wrists and smirked, "Maybe he ain't the bad guy here." He got out of the car and stretched before he heard a thunderous crash. Ash turned around to see the city's buildings topple and collapse. Not only that, sections of the road were falling into a bottomless pit. Ash instinctively rushed to the Oldsmobile before realizing that Connelly hadn't gotten out. He looked in the cruiser and was shocked to find no one in it. "Screw it." He got back to his car and desperately searched for his key. After a few seconds of patting his pockets, he realized that his key was in his wallet...which was confiscated previously by Sebastian. "Goddammit," he whined before grabbing his shotgun from the passenger seat before heading out to the rear doors. As he tried to open it, he realized they were locked, "Oh, COME ON!" He broke the window with his right hand and managed to grab his bag and sling it over his shoulder. He tried to reach for his chainsaw, but the Oldsmobile was starting to tip into the abyss. Ash groaned before pulling away, letting his car fall deep into oblivion. He sighed, "Wendy is gonna kill me." He turned to the door of the hospital and rushed towards them, hoping to get shelter from whatever was happening. When he reached the stoop, the doors burst open to reveal Sebastian, bloodied and gimping. Before anyone could process this meeting, a male voice on a megaphone cried, "Detective, get in!" Ash swiveled his head to see an ambulance with Connelly at the wheel. Sebastian looked at Ash and said, "Get in the back." With no time for a quip, Ash dashed into the rear of the ambulance while Sebastian took shotgun. Ash quickly sat and scanned his surroundings. He most noticeable things were his copassengers: Kidman, a balding man with a goatee in doctor's wear and a white-haired boy in patient clothes who was shaking like a nervous puppy. "And you are..."

The ambulance accelerated before Ash could get an answer out of them, nearly toppling him onto the floor. He looked out the window and saw that the buildings were moving _towards them_. He began pounding on the wall, praying that they would make it. Just before they were crushed, the vehicle darted out just in time. When they entered a large tunnel, exiting the city, Ash threw his hands into the air and whooped, startling all but the patient, "Woohoo, we made it! Gimme five!" He raised his right hand for them to smack but nobody took it, "C'mon I won't give ya tetanus." After once again being spurned, he sat down. Sebastian's voice rang on the speaker, "Is everyone okay?" Kidman answered, "We're fine here." Meanwhile, Leslie repeated the word fine over and over while rocking back and forth. The doctor kept trying to settle him down while Kidman looked at the boy with her hand on his shoulder. Before Ash could join, the man in white appeared out of nowhere and stared at the boy. Ash grinned, "Hey buddy, how ya bin?" The man looked at Ash with slightly widened eyes; a hint of confusion, vaguely apparent, was in them. The ambulance then began to swerve, rocking Ash's head downwards. He looked back up and saw the man was gone. The boy immediately began to scream 'fall' several times before Ash was catapulted upwards with everyone else as the vehicle came down an inexplicable cliff. The last thought in Ash's mind before he blacked out was, "Wendy is gonna _kill_ me."


	2. Down the Rabbit Hole (Yes, really)

**In light of the new Evil Dead show, I think I need to clarify something. This is not the same Ash from that show; rather he is loosely based off of the one in Poker Night 2. He is still in his prime due to the potion from Army of Darkness slowing his age process, he has his metal hand, he works at S-Mart and has a fiancé named Wendy. How'd they meet? You'll find out.**

Ash lazily opened his eyes, his head pounding like a drum. "Ohhhh," he groaned, "Is there another me growing out of my skull again?" Ash tried to move his arms and legs but couldn't; they were strapped to some gurney that he was on. His head collapsed as he groaned again; his eyes staring at a dirty ceiling. Just then, he heard a growl coming from the direction of his legs. He looked up and saw a creature with a gray human torso and arms. Its lower body was composed of tentacles that squished as they shifted across the floor. Its head was a bloody sack with darkened holes instead of eyes and through a hole where its mouth would be was a long, sickly tongue. It slowly approached Ash and climbed onto his gurney, inching closer to his face. Ash tried to struggle, but the straps kept him from offering any resistance to the monster. "Oh shit, oh shit, oh SHIIIIIT!" he screamed before closing his eyes and bracing himself for the worst. Then he smelled something burning and the creature's voice vanished.

He opened up his eyes and found himself in a clearing in a forest by a cliff. Next to him was the ambulance, crashed and on fire. Ash shook his head, "The hell was that?" He reached for his back and felt both his bag and shotgun strapped to him. "Thank god I didn't lose these." Just then, he heard a groaning coming from the ambulance. He drew his gun and headed towards the noise, making sure it was loaded before investigating. He squatted down and saw Sebastian in the wreck; besides his previous gash to the leg, he was unharmed. Sebastian opened his eyes and crawled out of his crevice. When he was a good length out, Ash reached out his hand; Sebastian looked at the hand and then Ash before grabbing it, taking the silent offer of help. "Can you stand?" Ash asked. "Yeah," Sebastian groaned as he got to his feet, "I think I-" he stumbled before Ash caught him. "Up ya go."

"Thanks." Sebastian looked up and pointed. "Get me over there." Behind Ash was a metal cart with a dual syringe filled with green and blue liquids inside it. Ash complied, acting as a crutch while Sebastian hobbled alongside him. When they made it to the cart, Sebastian picked up the syringe, rolled up his sleeve and pointed it toward his vein. Just as he began moving it towards his arm Ash grabbed him, "Woah buddy. I know things are rough but I don't think this is the best time to party." Sebastian shook him off, "No," he grunted, "It's not that, it's just...something about it is...soothing. Like it's meant to help me." Sebastian then injected himself with the liquids before Ash could stop him. When the vials were emptied, Sebastian stood upright and walked in front of Ash, "See?"

"Alright, but if I start turning into a pink elephant, promise me you won't flip out." Sebastian turned his attention to the flaming ambulance and began scanning the scene. "What'cha doing, chief?" Ash asked. "It's detective," he responded bluntly, "And we need to find Kidman, Connelly, the doctor and that kid."

"Right, right," Ash droned before looking behind him. His eyes then spotted the beginnings of a trail of blood on the outskirts of the flame's light. "Yo, dick," he called, "Found something." Sebastian turned to Ash's direction and his eyes widened when he caught sight of the blood, "Shit." He mumbled before following the trail into the darkness. Ash followed, gun in hand, until after a few dozen feet, a nauseating scent pierced the air. Ash swatted the air around his face, "Phew, what died?" Sebastian then broke into a run after Ash's comment, "I was kidding!" he yelled before dashing after Sebastian. The smell became stronger with every step he took, so much so that Ash began to wince and scrunch his face. When he caught up to Sebastian, they were standing in a grassy clearing. In front of them was a platform-shaped rock with a dead goat, its eyes and mouth open and a large hole carved into its belly; its organs strewn in front of it. "I'm no butcher, but I don't think that's how ya make lamb chops," Ash quipped. Sebastian then dashed once again, Ash trailing behind. After making their way through the bushes, Sebastian stopped suddenly. Ash followed suit and found that they were on top of a rocky, slightly steep hill. In front of Sebastian's feet were a torch and a pack of matches. He slowly reached down and picked up both items, "Who would leave these here," he muttered. "Dunno," Ash responded, "Oh, that reminds me." He then set down his pack and began rummaging through it. After a half minute of scrounging, he pulled out a black flashlight. "Eh?" He clicked it on and off a couple of times, "Least now we don't have to find another one."

"Right," Sebastian stated. They looked to the bottom of the ravine to see a tent with light seeping out. The two then scuttled down the ridge and approached the tent's opening. After two steps, Sebastian stepped on something hard, promptly looking down at it. He picked it up and found it was a revolver pistol. "Cool," Ash whispered, "At least you won't need to bum off me." Sebastian shot a look before flicking it open, each chamber housing a bullet. He flicked it closed and continued to the tent. He slowly lifted the flap and saw Connelly kneeling by a lantern, hands to his face. "Oscar?" The figure raised his head slightly. Without warning, a sickening squelch was heard as a human head fell to his side; its left half missing. The two stepped back in shock, "Oh, crap," Ash stated while Sebastian yelled, "Connelly!" The kneeling figure turned to face them. It was indeed Connelly, but different. His eyes were red and bloodshot, his skin was grey and had bloody hemorrhages and his mouth was covered in blood. He then rose and started to walk to the two men. "Connelly, everything's okay," Sebastian was trying to talk him down. "It's Detective Castellanos. Tell us what happened." Connelly then made a raspy growl before breaking into a fast walk, both arms stretched out at Sebastian. "No, Oscar-!" Ash then dashed in front of the detective and shot Connelly in the head with his shotgun; the former police man's head exploding from the burst. After the body fell with a cold thud, all was quiet for a half minute; Ash smirking at Sebastian while his mouth was agape. "So you gonna say thanks or...?" Ash was cut off as Sebastian grabbed him by the collar, "Why?" Sebastian's eyes glowed with rage. "Why did you kill him?!"

"Easy there chief," Ash lightly brushed the detective's hands away, "In case you didn't notice, I just saved your ass from that deadite." Sebastian's eyebrows eased slightly, "Deadite?"

"Yeah. People who are possessed by a demon and then go ape-shit. You're lucky I was here," Ash smirked, "The bastard would've bit you and I'd need to put you down too." Sebastian didn't release his hands, instead he bared his teeth, "We could have done something! We could have _saved_ him!" Ash's face darkened, "I'm sorry Seb, but take my word when I say we can't help them when they're that far gone." Sebastian looked down as he let go of Ash. After fifteen seconds, he tilted his head up, his face serious, "Fine, let's go," walking past Ash and into the mouth of a cave. Ash hesitantly followed, the two turning on their respective torches to illuminate the darkness. After a minute of walking, a faint noise echoed; something that sounded like shivering breaths. The two rounded a corner and saw the boy from the ambulance standing, hands near his face and body shaking. "Hey," Ash waved as he approached the patient, "We've been looking everywhere for ya-" The teen's head shot towards their direction and shouted, "Hurts, hurts!" Ash stopped, "Woah, what's eating you jitterbug?"

"Wait," Sebastian dashed to put his arm in front of Ash. "Look in front." Ash squinted his eyes to see a chest-level trip wire connected to explosives. "Woah, nice work. Putting the I in PI, am I right?"

"I'm a _police_ detective, and it was the kid who tipped me." The man looked back at the terrified boy, "You're Leslie, right? I'm a police officer; I can help you."

"Help you, help you," Leslie whispered. Sebastian looked at Ash, "Where the hell would a hospital be here?" Before giving an answer, the boy wandered into the darkness behind him, saying the word hospital before screaming it and became silent. Ash groaned and looked at his reluctant partner, "We're going after him, aren't we?" Sebastian crouched under the wire, "Come on."

"Of course we are." The men were soon greeted by an exit to a grassy path leading to a stone wall. In front was a murder of crows on a corpse. When the men neared the body, the birds abandoned their meal revealing a box next to it with a lighthouse logo on it. Ash picked it up and examined it, "'Lighthouse matches?' Hey, dic you ever hear of these?" Sebastian took the box from Ash's outstretched hand. Without warning, he opened it and lit one of the two matches inside. The officer dropped it without hesitation onto the body which immediately burst into flames causing Ash to back up in shock, "Woah!" The corpse quickly turned to ashes, clothes and all, before being scattered to the wind. "What the hell was that?" Ash burst, "Was he doused in gas or something?" Sebastian shook his head, "I didn't smell anything; he couldn't have been."

"Alright, well, let's keep going. I don't wanna be next on those birds' menu, know what I mean?" The stone wall led to a wooden hut with a lantern in front. "Perfect," Ash muttered as Sebastian cracked open the door. Suddenly, a woman appeared before Sebastian, looking at the wall on the right. She looked to be in her thirties, had long brown hair, thick glasses, a nurses cap, pink vest and a white nurse's dress. She had a small smile while she walked to a circular gilded mirror. After taking a few steps, she vanished. The men were stunned for a few seconds until Sebastian walked in, "Woah," Ash caught Sebastian's shoulder. "You sure you wanna follow the creepy ghost chick?"

"I-I've seen her before." Sebastian spoke dream-like,

"Wait, when, where?"

"At the hospital." The detective shook off Ash's hand and turned to the mirror, his eyes widening into a trance. "Yo!" Ash yelled before waving his hand in front of the aloof man, "Anyone there. Come on, buddy I can't have you freaking out-" Ash put his hand on Sebastian and was instantly teleported to a dim waiting room. "-now. Wait, where the hell am I?" The floors were tiled with a green couch behind him, a bulletin board to his right and a wooden newspaper rack to his left. In front was a large wooden counter and behind it was the ghost whom they had seen, the same smile adorning her face. Ash marched up, his finger pointed. "Hey, lady. You seen a guy come through here? Brown hair, stiffer than my middle school principal?"

"You mean Detective Castellanos," her voice seemed eerily soft yet clear, "Right this way please." The nurse opened a wooden board on the left and moved to Ash's right to a metal gate. Things seemed to become darker past it with a faucet and metal sink to the right, a mirror with a broken corner adorning the space above. There came a second gate which the nurse opened, revealing Sebastian sitting in a horrifying chair. The device held his hands and legs down with metal clamps and atop his head was some metal helmet covered with small rods and connected by a metal pole. Ash grabbed his shotgun and aimed at the nurse, eyes narrowed, "What the fuck are you doing!?" he shouted. Suddenly, audible electricity coursed in the chair causing Sebastian to spasm and grit his teeth. Ash approached point-blank with his shotgun, "Shut it off, NOW!"

"I can't do that," the nurse calmly responded.

"What!?"

"It was his choice. He will leave when he wants."

"Bullshit! Tell me how you get him out or I blow off something important!"

"Wait!" A voice behind Ash cried. Spinning around, he found it belonged to the detective, now standing out of the chair. The amateur demon hunter rushed to Sebastian's side and put a hand on his shoulder, "You okay? What the hell did they do to you?"

"Nothing," Sebastian groaned, "It's just... The chair... It makes me feel better, stronger, more confident."

"Listen pal, between this and injecting yourself with God-knows-what, I'm not sure you're all there."

"I'm fine, trust me." Ash looked at him hesitantly before sighing, "Fine, just don't go crazy with it." He looked back at the door to the room, "Now, how do we get out of here?"

"Follow me, gentlemen." The woman opened the gate and gestured they follow with a beckoning hand. The two followed her to the sink just outside. "Now, concentrate on the mirror. You first, detective." Sebastian stared at the mirror for a few seconds before slowly transforming into light, causing Ash to stagger slightly in surprise. The light then traveled into the mirror before vanishing, leaving the corridor dim once more. "Okay," Ash walked in front of the mirror. "So I just stare at it, right?"

"No." Ash spun around. "What?"

"You are going to leave and never come back." Ash's eyebrow was raised, "I'm sorry, what?" Ash then felt something rushing at him like a strong gust of wind as the nurse screamed, "GET OUUUUT!" The world swirled as Ash screamed, the woman disappearing from his view before finding himself in the shack, Sebastian and the gilded mirror staring at him. Ash put his left hand to his forehead bathed in cold sweat while breathing heavily. "Williams," Sebastian put his hand on Ash's shoulder, "Are you alright? What happened?"

"Just," he panted, "Don't expect me back there any time soon." Before Sebastian could ask, a cry rang out. "That was Leslie. Let's go." Sebastian dashed out the door leaving Ash fix his bearings alone. He groaned and followed suit. Ash turned to the left to see Sebastian hiding behind a small stone wall. A short distance was Leslie and another deadite with a noose around its neck. The creature was snarling and chasing Leslie, herding the boy into another shack. The patient slammed the door shut, locking the zombie-like creature outside. Ash dashed to Sebastian's side and cocked his gun. "Wait," the detective whispered, "I want to try something." He felt around his pocket and revealed a Bowie knife, "Hang on, where'd you get a-" Sebastian had already started crouch-walking to the deadite, its fists pounding on the wooden obstruction. When Sebastian came within two feet from the monster, he steadily rose then swiftly plunged the knife into the back of the creature's skull. Before taking it out, the man cushioned its fall so it would not make a sound. Ash sprinted next to his partner, "Nice work, dic." He cocked his shotgun, prompting a look from Sebastian. "What are you doing?" Ash aimed the gun at the deadite's head. "Sorry, but if I don't make it messy, it's gonna get a lot messier." Sebastian, out of nowhere, kicked the head of his kill. Ash tilted his head, "The hell are you doing?" The detective met his gaze. "It's dead, let's go." He opened the door and entered as Ash did probing with his own foot. After a few taps, he muttered, "Weird," before following his partner.

Instead of being greeted with Leslie, the room was empty with only an open window facing them. Without saying a word, Sebastian hopped through, Ash following suit. A fire pit in front of a ruined gate was all that met them. Beyond it, the two ended up in front of a crumbling wooden house overlooking a lake. On the other side was a lighthouse brightly shining. From the wreckage came a slow moving man in a shirt, pants and vest. He whimpered and mumbled with a frown that made him look like he was on the edge of bursting into tears. "Hey!" Sebastian called out. "Do you know where we are?" Before the pale individual could speak, the lighthouse's spotlight turned to them. While Sebastian shielded his eyes, Ash could see clearly though it. "What the hell?" The demon hunter glimpsed what looked like ghosts of Sebastian and the man being sucked out while apparitions of the burned man came into them. When the lighthouse turned its gaze, the man screamed as blood-like particles erupted from his body and ensnared him. His jaw cracked as it opened to his neck and his eyes turned white and glowed. Finally, the particles transformed into barbed wire that encircled his body without restricting movement. Before Sebastian could process this abomination being made, Ash grabbed him and dove behind nearby hay bales.

"Stay down," Ash whispered. He peeked from above to see the zombie creature not head toward them, but rather shamble around the area, as if it were patrolling. He also frowned when he caught a glimpse of the barbed wire that grew from the monster earlier. "What the hell happened to him?" Sebastian hissed. "He's a deadite...I think."

"So a lighthouse turns people into those, things?"

"Generally, no. That's usually done by a book. Not to mention they don't grow metal." Sebastian sighed, "Fine, how do we get through?"

"Like this." Ash cocked his shotgun and strolled out towards the creature. "Hey, ugly!" As his victim turned, the creature snarled before Ash let loose a round of buckshot in its face, blowing the head clean off. Ash turned to the detective's position. "Y'see that?!"

"Behind you!" The S-Mart swiveled to find another zombie a foot's distance from him. He only had time to raise his shotgun in defense before his opponent tried to grab him, toppling the two over. The monster snarled and rasped as it lashed with its teeth. Before Ash was bitten, a shot rang out and the creature's head became limp. Ash struggled to get the corpse off him before getting to his feet and dusting off. As Sebastian approached him, Ash made a quick grin, "I could'a took him, but thanks for the assist, dic."

"Don't mention it," Sebastian said stone-faced, "From here on, we should be quiet, we don't know how many more are hiding out." Ash finger-gunned, "Good call." The two crept past a few trees to a larger area with several stone wood buildings. The paths populated by more deadite look-alikes. Sebastian led the way as Ash followed, the two creeping behind short, stone walls and through tall grass, completely undetected by the monstrous guards. Near a gate, Ash nearly stepped on a bear trap placed on the path, to which his response was, "Why should I be worried? I'm not a bear."

The two finally reached an area with a stone bridge leading across a narrow river. In front of them was a horde of deadites feasting on the remains of some poor souls. "That is a lot of ugly," Ash whispered.

"Come on." The duo walked around the feast to the bridge with little trouble. "Heh," Ash chuckled, "Stupid things." Just then, the amateur hunted stepped on a twig, causing a fairly loud crack. The creatures looked up from their meal to see the fugitives. Ash broke his silence, "Son of a-"

"Run!" The pair dashed away as the monsters either shambled or ran towards them. When the men reached the other side, they were stopped by a giant wooden gate. They both pounded as hard as they could, "Knock, knock, anyone home?!" Ash called with a twinge of panic. They stopped when their pursuers were half-way across. "Goddammit!" Sebastian swore.

"What do we do now, chief?" Sebastian quickly scanned their surroundings before laying his eyes on the right side. "Follow me!" Ash and Sebastian ducked and weaved through a collection of rotted arms and snarling teeth but were soon cornered at the bridge's edge. Ash looked frantically, "Any more bright ideas, supercop?"

"Just one." The detective turned and dove off of the bridge into the frigid waters below. "Oh, come on," Ash whined, "Do you _know_ what water does to my hand!?" He took a few double-takes to the river and the murderous horde behind him. "Fuck it," he muttered, soon jumping over the edge, "Geronimo!" He hit the water feet first, creating a mild splash. After a half-minute of calm, the monsters left the two to their fate.


	3. Twitchy Nerves and Roaring Motors

After a minute or two, Ash and Sebastian gasped as their heads pierced the surface. Sebastian looked to the side to find a wooden scaffolding and dock jutting into the water. He called out to Ash to follow him before paddling to the shore and Ash followed suit. When they reached the wood, the duo hoisted themselves out of the river and stood panting. "You know," Ash said breathlessly, "You could'a warned me before jumping to our near certain deaths."

"Don't complain," Sebastian answered sternly, "We got out alive, that's all that matters."

"Yeah..." Ash conceded, "but when this is over, you owe me for my dry cleaning." He then proceeded to pour water out of the cracks in his right hand. "And the oil to keep this thing from rusting." After shaking his hand, he opened and clenched it; smiling after seeing it still worked. "Now what do we do chief?"

"Detective," Sebastian bluntly replied, "And I'm thinking that over there is where we need to go." Sebastian pointed to a group of stone stairs built within the bridge that led behind the gate from before, "Okay then." Sebastian led the way, pistol in his grip as Ash took the rear, both of them scanning for any attackers. Halfway up, they noticed that the steps had a pile of bodies on it. Sebastian reached for the matches but Ash held out his hand and shook his head. He then nudged them with his shoe before loudly stamping on one of them, crushing its head. The bodies remained still. Ash nodded his head before they continued up. They found themselves in front of a wooden door which creaked as they slowly opened it. After cautiously taking a few steps inward, a stack of crates crashed in front of it, barring any plans of return. In front of them were old buildings, made of rotting wood; several bodies hanging by nooses adorned a bridge structure between the balconies of two buildings.

The two continued walking underneath the connector before they heard a snap. Large spiked gates swung from above, nearly impaling Ash where he stood. "Well shit," he stated, "Any ideas?" Sebastian turned to the right, "There." He pointed to a door on a small makeshift deck. "Well, what are we waitin' for?" The duo crept to the door, Ash in front and Sebastian in the back, each readying their guns. Ash slowly opened the door, the hinges creaking as it became ajar. Ash peeked inside and whispered, "Clear." Ash entered and Sebastian followed. He then turned to the left to see a door covered with a Beacon marker and entered it, Ash doing the same. When they went in, they saw one of the special mirrors. Sebastian turned to Ash but before he said anything, Ash waved his hand, "Yeah, yeah just don't take too long." Sebastian nodded in thanks and approached the mirror and entered a trance, simply staring at the mirror as he had done before. After thirty seconds, Sebastian snapped back to reality. Ash patted his shoulder, "You okay champ?"

"Yeah, yeah." They went out of the room and continued through a dining area with wood burning stoves and cheap, wooden furniture. They climbed the stairs at the end to reach an attic with a simple bed and a door on the left. When they were near, Ash could hear someone muttering behind it. Ash turned to Sebastian who nodded, confirming his knowledge. They crept to each side and Sebastian silently mouthed a countdown from three. When he hit one, Ash kicked the door open and shouted, "Reach for the sky, motherfu-"

"Don't shoot!" a third man yelled, terrified of both Ash and Sebastian. He was in a lab coat with a beard and balding hair. "I-I'm not one of _them_. I'm a doctor, Marcello Jimenez." Sebastian lowered his pistol. "You were in the ambulance when it crashed, right?"

"Oh yeah," Ash smiled, figuring things out, "You were babysitting that kid, what was his name?"

"Leslie," Jimenez answered, "and we have to find him before those _things_ get to him."

"Yeah, kid's a pretty good bomb detector."

"WHAT!?" Jimenez gasped. Sebastian punched Ash in the arm and glared for a second. "Leslie warned us about a trap before it was tripped. Do you know where he went to?"

"This way. I would say quietly, but your friend seems to be incapable of such a feat."

"Oh you're just mad I got one on you." Ash chuckled. Jimenez walked to an open balcony and the other men followed. Jimenez handed Sebastian a pair of binoculars and pointed forward towards a large gate. "Leslie went through there," Jimenez reported, "We'll need to get past those creatures if we're to find him." The creatures he referred to were a group of about eight Deadite look-alikes. Sebastian gave the binoculars to Ash, "One of us could cause a distraction while the other two sneak around them."

"Leave it to me," Ash smirked. "No," Jimenez quietly objected. "You two have guns and know how to use them. I'll distract them so you two can take them by surprise should it come to that." Ash raised his eyebrow, "Huh, guess that's why you're the doc."

"Now when I get down there I'll need one of you to work the crank there," he pointed to the right, "Which will let all of us through." Sebastian nodded, "Alright." Ash gave a thumbs-up, "Right behind ya doc." Jimenez exited through the right door and after a minute, Sebastian opened the way for him. Jimenez then dashed out and grabbed a lit torch. He then flailed it in the air and shouted, "Hey! Over here." When the creatures looked at Jimenez he dashed to the right, prompting the creatures to follow him. "That guy's gonna get himself killed," Sebastian mumbled. "Maybe," Ash commented, "But he might surprise us."

The two went back through the right door and were about to go down the stairs when they heard raspy breathing. "Ah hell," Ash groaned, "You want it, or can I?" Sebastian made his own groan, "Fine, just make it quick." Ash then waited on the side overlooking the stairs while Sebastian hid under the bed, the creature was a man in bandages with a large nail where his eye once was. When he was nearly up the stairs, Ash approached him just out of his line of sight. When he reached the top, Ash put his shotgun to his head and stated, "Howdy." Before the monster could react, Ash pulled the trigger, blowing his head into nothingness. Sebastian got out, "Let's go."

"Oh come on," Ash whined, "You gotta admit that was pretty sweet." Sebastian just continued without a word, Ash begrudgingly following. As they left the building, Ash and Sebastian continued right, their path unabated. As they passed a broken cart, a shot rang out. Sebastian looked up to see a male look-alike with a sniper rifle, "Sniper!"

"What-" Sebastian grabbed Ash and retreated to the left, entering a large barn. When Sebastian stopped running, Ash had a raised eyebrow, "Did you say one of them had a gun?"

"Yes." Ash shook his head, "Well, then these things ain't Deadites."

"What?"

"Deadites don't grow metal or use guns, _ever_. I hate to say it, but these things are new to me. But we're still-" A loud growl that bordered on a roar cut off Ash complemented by the rattling of heavy chains. Sebastian became dumbstruck before whispering, "Run."

"What?"

"RUN!" Sebastian darted to the left exit past some pigs; Ash following after a few seconds. When they were outside, Ash grabbed Sebastian's shoulder, "What the hell was that about, twitchy?" Sebastian regained composure and looked at Ash, his eyebrows lowered implying a heavy gravity to the situation. "I recognized that sound," he explained, "Back at the hospital, I was chased by a... a man who was over six-and-a-half feet tall, and nearly ripped me apart with a chainsaw." Ash's eyes lit up when he heard the word chainsaw. "Well, he sounds like my kinda guy." He turned to go back into the barn before Sebastian grabbed Ash's shoulder. "Don't," he implored, "You don't know what he's like, I do. We can't afford the time or risk in trying to take him."

"Fine, fine. Let's just get that gate open and find that kid before I get jealous." The duo then walked through a passage outside of the buildings which hopefully led to the sniper; each treading silently and slowly. At the end, they were next to a window that offered a glimpse inside. The men saw a wooden interior with several pieces of furniture on fire that refused to spread. Without warning, Ash kicked the window, shattering the glass and then proceeded to enter. He looked back at Sebastian who shot a look at him. "What?" Ash asked with sincere confusion. Sebastian entered and whispered, "Next time, don't make so much noise, one of those things might-" On cue, they heard a growling coming from above them. Sebastian and Ash then dashed to their left to a wall where they could hide from the creature. Neither of the two noticed it, but there was a red metal switch that seemed out of place at best. The two then stuck out their heads to see the human-like creature descend the stairs quickly. It stopped after the first group onto a platform that had a switch on the wall next to it. The deadite look-alike then pulled it down. Ash heard a shunk behind him and noticed their switch had also gone down. When he looked back, a volley of metal spikes rained down on the bottom of the stairwell. When they ended, both switches returned up. The creature then continued down the stairs; right towards the mark. Without thinking or hesitation, Ash flipped the switch. The creature was then swiftly impaled by the harpoons. Sebastian turned towards Ash, his brows furrowed, "What the hell were you thinking?!" he hissed, "You could have gotten us killed."

"Yeah," Ash smirked, "But I didn't." Sebastian sighed, "Let's just get out of here." Sebastian treaded out of their hiding place before hearing the switches and spikes, promptly spinning around to see Ash pulling the lever down, like a child figuring out the buttons on a toy. "What the fuck are you doing," Sebastian nearly screamed. Ash remained calm, "I just don't get it."

"What don't you get?!"

"I can believe in those piles of worm-bait after us, I deal with that shit every other week. I can believe that there's an old town in the middle of nowhere. I can even believe that the people of said town can build bombs. What I don't get is how a metal lever that looks like it should be in an industrial factory that makes metal spikes fall from the ceiling is here when there isn't even electricity."

"What are you saying?" Sebastian questioned. "I'm saying this makes absolutely no sense. Ah, I got it; we're in another dimension."

"WHAT!?"

"Don't worry, I've been here before, all we gotta do is-"

"Enough!" Sebastian barked, "Let's focus on finding everyone and then we can figure out where in the hell we are." Ash stared for a second before shrugging, "Alright, if you wanna deal with the essentials later than sooner, who am I to stop ya?" The two men then walked up the stairs, each scanning their surroundings, their guns at the ready. After reaching the top, their attention turned to a door that led outside, "I'll handle this," Sebastian stated before creeping next to the door. He slowly pushed it open, the creaking hinges slowed so as not to get attention. Sebastian stepped from the open passage to a balcony, at the end was the creature with the rifle. Sebastian readied his knife as he crouch-walked behind the beast. When he was close enough, Sebastian rose up and pierced the monster with his knife through its scalp, gently letting it fall without making a noise. Sebastian then took the rifle and retreated back into the house. Ash smiled, "Good kill, slugger." Sebastian looked at him for a second, unamused, before focusing on the gun. "Sooo, how's it lookin' dick?" Sebastian clicked the clip, "It's out."

"Shame, could a used it to pick some of them off." Sebastian put it on his back, "Let's go." The two began exploring the top floor for supplies; as Sebastian scrounged through a drawer, Ash shifted through a ruined chair and surrounding pieces of junk. Just then, he saw something metal sticking out. He pulled it out and saw that it was a large crossbow, completely made of metal. "Yo dick, check this out!" Sebastian answered him and stared at the weapon, "What in the hell...?" Ash pressed a button and the crossbow spread into a firing position. "Well, that's handy, you want it?" Sebastian took the bow and stared before strapping it with the rifle on his back. The two then went downstairs to a room that they failed to explore earlier. They entered a short hallway to a dark room with a dresser in a corner and a chair with a metal briefcase on it. Ash took the liberty of unclipping and opening it, "Hey, look what I found," he turned around, holding a black shotgun, "another boomstick! Here, catch." Sebastian caught it with one hand before studying it and its ammo before cocking it. Ash smirked, "Groovy." Sebastian then scowled and said, "Get. Back. Now." Ash spun around to see four of the corpses walking towards them, crude weapons in hand. "Oh, shit." He dove towards Sebastian before the monsters shattered the windows, unmarred by the broken glass. As soon as the first one stepped inside, Ash fired a round into its knee, causing it to stumble to the floor. With the monster crippled, Ash aimed for the head and pulled the trigger, causing its head to explode, its viscera scattered on the floor. As Ash reloaded, Sebastian shot at the chest of another zombie. It recoiled and stood still for a second before dashing towards him with renewed fervor. Before it got near Sebastian, Ash had already clicked his shotgun closed and fired at its head, point-blank. Ash smirked at Sebastian, "Didn't they teach you anything at the academy," a third monster walked to Ash before he looked back and stuck the barrel in its growling mouth before pulling the trigger, "Always aim for the head." Right behind Ash's victim came the fourth, grabbing Ash by the neck before he could react. Ash aimed his gun at the zombie and fired, only to be greeted by a click. "Shit," he breathed. The grip tightened as Ash lashed at his attacker with flailing arms that only hit air. Suddenly, Sebastian ran behind him and struck the monster with the butt of his shotgun. It fell to the ground before being pinned by Sebastian's shoe and a round blown into its head. After confirming it was dead, Sebastian turned to Ash who was gasping to re inflate his lungs. "You alright," he asked.

"Yeah," Ash coughed, "Thanks for saving my bacon, chief."

"Okay, let's keep going."

The duo went out of the building through the window as the zombies had. It only took them a few yards before ending in front of the massive gate Leslie went through. It was held up by mechanical equipment and a giant chain. Sebastian tried pulling it before Ash decided to do the same. "C'mon, put your back into it Hercules." Sebastian turned and glared, "It's not budging," he looked back at it. "If only we could cut it, maybe a chainsaw or something could..." Ash's eyes lit up, "Chainsaw, huh? Better stay back, junior." He reached behind his back for his chainsaw, feeling nothing of the sort before his face turned pale, "Goddammit."

"What?"

"I forgot, Ol' Betsy went down with the Oldsmobile back in the city." Ash looked behind him and noticed the barn. "Didn't you say there was some guy with a chainsaw?" Sebastian looked back and stated, "No," as if he knew exactly what Ash was thinking. "Aw c'mon dick."

"NO. You weren't there, you don't know what kind of... monster he is."

"Oh c'mon, just one peek..."

"No!" Sebastian snapped, causing Ash to step back and raise his hands, "Okay, okay, easy dick." Sebastian turned left to see a house they hadn't explored. "Let's check this place before doing anything we'll...regret."

"Fine, you're the boss, chief." Ash surrendered.

The men circled the building to find the door. Before entering, they heard raspy breathing coming from inside. They nodded to each other before slowly sliding the door open. Before entering, Ash pulled out a dozen shotgun shells from his bag and gave them to Sebastian, "For luck," he chuckled. It was faint, but Ash could swear he saw a smirk from Sebastian. They crept inside to a short hall with windows to the main dining room. They could see two zombies, one on the stairs and another eyeing the fireplace. Ash was about to cock his shotgun before Sebastian put a hand on it. "Don't," he whispered, "We need to conserve ammo."

"Screw that, I got like two hundred shells with me, we aren't running out any time soon." Ash then looked to the right to see another metal switch. "How 'bout this?"

"Don't-" As Ash flipped the lever down, a group of spikes appeared in front of the window. The monsters took notice and started to shamble towards them. "Guess it's showtime." Ash dashed out and blew both of the creatures' heads. "Gettin' good at this," he bragged with a smile. Sebastian frowned before heading up the stairs, Ash following. The second floor was deserted, no rasping or creatures anywhere. As Sebastian checked the drawers for anything, Ash explored the rooms to see if there was anyone hiding. After creaking a door open, he was in a room with ruined upholstery overlooking the path outside. As Ash explored, his eyes widened as he saw an old tape recorder identical to one he found long ago. His brows furrowed, "Hell, no. I'm not dealing with this shit again." He cocked his boomstick and aimed at the device. Before he pulled the trigger, Seb walked in, "What'd you find?"

"Junk." Ash bluntly replied. Sebastian quickly spotted the tape recorder. "Wait," he pointed the gun down. "Maybe there's something important on that."

"OK, Seb," Ash looked him in the eyes, "As long as I'm missing a hand and my hair is rocking, I am NOT letting you press play."

"Why not?"

"Same reason you won't let me get that chainsaw, it's a bad idea." The detective groaned, "Step aside."

"Don't!" a third voice cried. The duo looked up to see Jimenez hiding in the ceiling by a missing panel. "I...I already listened to it. There's nothing of substance on there."

"See," Ash smiled. "Listen to the doc." Sebastian humphed, "Fine, let's go."

"I'll stay here," the doctor whispered, "Don't want to get in your way."

"Your call, doc."

The next half hour was composed of the two partners searching every building but the farmhouse, eventually meeting in the dirt path. "Any luck, dick?"

"No."

"Well, we did it your way," Ash cocked his gun, "Now we do it mine." As he walked past Sebastian, the detective's eyes widened. "You're not actually going in there, are you?"

"Why not? I've got a gun, he probably doesn't." Before Sebastian could object, Ash was already inside the barn. Sebastian grunted and followed. When he entered, he heard the growling of the monster and saw the pigs, but no sign of Ash. "Hey!" The noise came from Sebastian's left and saw it was Ash on a walkway. "You gotta come see this!" The detective climbed up a ladder to the platform and followed the demon hunter. At the edge, they could see that behind a wooden wall was a green-skinned man the size of a bear with a white undershirt, khakis and a mask that covered his mouth and an eye, leaving a bloodshot one visible. Around him were heavy chains that he thrashed against, trying to break and at his feet was a red chainsaw. Ash slapped Sebastian on the back. "And you were worried about this guy." Sebastian glared, "Don't do that."

"Fine, fine. Anyway, I was thinking, my boomstick ain't got the range for this so..." He pointed to the crossbow on Sebastian's back. "What do ya say we try that little lady out?" Sebastian took the crossbow and studied it before wordlessly loading a strange bolt on it. He pulled back and let loose a ball of spikes that landed on the maniac's head. It beeped three times before letting out an explosion, causing the two to look away. "Hoo, boy," Ash laughed. "Gonna need to get me one a those." When the dust cleared, the man was still moving. Ash's smile soon vanished when he heard the breaking of chains as the monster broke from his restraints. He then picked up his chainsaw and revved it before crashing through the wooden wall, roaring in pure rage. "Oh, shit." The two said at the same time. Their enemy quickly dashed to the ladder and began scaling it, thirsty for blood. "Get ready!" Sebastian cried. The two men pulled out their shotguns and went to the edge. When the Sadist was within range, the two unloaded all they had at the beast. It only slowed the monster down as its head kept getting knocked back but failed to come off. "What are you?!" Ash screamed, "That hockey mask guy's redneck cousin?!" As it approached the final rung, Sebastian grabbed his arm. "Run!"

"No arguments here!" The two scrambled for the other side as their pursuer began chasing them. "What do we do, Seb?" The detective closed his eyes for a few seconds, "I have an idea, when we get to the road, distract him."

"How? Magic tricks!?"

"Just shoot him! When I yell out, go through the window I go through."

"Why!?"

"Trust me!"

"Fine!" The two dashed out of the barn after climbing down the other ladder, the maniac following them. As Sebastian headed to the building across from them, Ash called out, "Hey, ugly," the Sadist stood in front of him. "Let's tango." The lumbering beast ran, chainsaw overhead as he attempted to decapitate Ash. Fortunately, his strikes were slow and easily read, giving the S-Mart employee time to react. After the third swing, Sebastian called out, "Williams! Get in!" Ash turned and dove through the window, awkwardly rolling on the floor. He spun to see the Sadist climbing through. He backed a few steps, "Hey, Seb, could really use that plan of yours now!" When the monster stepped in, a shunk was heard before a spike trap impaled the beast, silencing his screams. When the rods retracted, the sadist collapsed to the floor, his chainsaw falling from his hand. Just as suddenly, the duo's foe turned into blood-like particles that left the building, their destination unknown. "Whooo!" Ash began clapping, "Great work, dick!" Sebastian came from his right. "Couldn't have done better myself!"

"Thanks," the detective kept his stony stare, "How does it look?" Ash picked up the chainsaw, its edges caked in viscera. "It ain't store quality, but I think I can handle it." The partners made their way back to the gate. Ash pulled the ripcord, "Don't try this at home, kids." Sparks flew and an intolerable screech came as metal cut through metal. Eventually, the chain broke, causing the gate to fly upwards. Ash strapped the chainsaw to his back before continuing. As they neared the gate, the ever familiar voice of Doctor Jimenez rang out, "Wait, please!" He stopped behind them, "Wait, officers. You must take me with you."

"Detective, Castellanos. This one isn't a cop."

"Aw, come on. You'd think I'd earn a deputizing by now."

"Yes, well, Leslie should be just ahead. As I mentioned, it is imperative we find him."

"Fine," Sebastian bluntly stated, "Keep close and out of our way."

"Yeah," Ash grinned, "Don't wanna lose that noggin of yours, do ya?" Jimenez walked through the gate in silence before the now trio continued, unaware of the gate abruptly closing with not a soul in sight.


	4. Things Get Weird

After navigating the dirt path through a group of trees, the men arrived at a small community of wooden houses, shadowed by a two-floored one on the left. Jimenez held his chin, "Ah, yes," he calmly analyzed, "This is the hostel where Leslie was being treated years ago." Ash's eyebrow rose, "You've been to this hellhole before?"

"Ahem, well, sort of. We should go see my brother, Valerio. He should offer us sanctuary."

"Wait," Sebastian exclaimed, looking at a shack in front of them. He broke into a slow jog as Ash followed. "Don't leave me!" The doctor called out. The trio stopped in front of a beacon door which Sebastian entered without hesitation. The other two did the same to see Sebastian staring at another gilded mirror, his eyes widened in a trance. "Is he alright?" Jimenez pointed, "To tell you the truth, doc, I don't know. But," he stretched his arms, "I _do_ know that we got some time to kill."

After ten seconds of silence, Ash spoke up, "So doc,"

"Yes?"

"What are those things anyway?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You know, those dead guys wanting to eat our brains. Did you find a certain skin-covered book or did they spring from nowhere?"

"I- I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on. You _just_ said your bro hangs here; I doubt this problem is entirely unknown."

"I-I..." Jimenez stammered. "Come on, doc, spill it!" The doctor sighed, "Haunted, they're called Haunted, b-but I don't know where they come from, you have to believe me."

"Settle down, buddy. Just wanted to know; and this has nothing to do with a book?"

"What? No, that's preposterous." Just then, Sebastian gasped signaling his return. Ash patted his shoulder, "Welcome back to the living. Have a good trip?"

"Fine," the detective stated. "Let's go."

After walking out, a woman's scream pierced the night. The trio turned around to see a bonfire stacked with impaled corpses. To its right was a Haunted carrying a shrieking woman in a black dress. Before anyone said anything, Ash dashed towards the creature. "Williams, don't!" But Ash had already stepped within the fire's light. "Hey, ugly!" The Haunted turned its head as Ash revved his chainsaw, "Put her down or imma toss _you_ in that pit." The monster stared for a second before shambling towards the fire again. "Well, I tried asking nicely." The S-Mart worker let out a battle cry before charging in front of the monster. He raised his weapon and in one sweeping motion ground through his victim's arm, head and other arm in that order. The woman quickly collapsed on the dirt but near instantly got up and dashed into the shadows. "Hey," Ash followed, "Don't be scared, I'm one of the good guys!" As he rounded the corner into a shed, he saw her sitting in a fetal position in the corner. "Hey, you okay?"

"He's here," she shakily whispered, "He's always here." Ash bent a knee, "Who ya talkin' about?" She looked at the ceiling, wide-eyed, "Ruvik." In a flash she was gone, leaving nothing but green, bubbling ooze on the ground. "Woah." Sebastian and Jimenez jogged up to Ash. "What happened?" Sebastian questioned. "Dunno, one second she was staring at the roof, the next, poof. She melted faster than a witch at Niagara Falls."

"Curious..." Jimenez mumbled to himself. "Come on," Sebastian stated, "Let's not fool around. Where's your brother's place?"

"Uh, this, this way." The doctor led them to the front door of the two-floored house where he gently opened the door. As they entered, they heard a voice grumbling in concentration, "Slice clean; no tearing." Ash whispered, "Are you sure we have the right place?"

Sebastian and Jimenez walked in silence, leaving Ash to catch up. They began to descend a short staircase when sounds of cleaving flesh started to become more apparent. Sebastian cautiously readied his shotgun before reaching the bottom. They found themselves in a candle-lit room with curtains concealing white beds, more than likely where patients would be. On the walls were anatomical drawings on bulletin boards and at the far end was the silhouette of a human working on a table. Jimenez quickly walked to the area behind the curtain, "Valerio? Valerio, it's me Marcel-" The other two dashed to the doctor's side when he paused. There they saw a heavy balding man in a vest, pants, glasses and shoes repeatedly cutting a corpse that looked like the scream. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sebastian called. Valerio turned to reveal glowing eyes and grey, bloodied flesh. "He's one of them!" Ash cried. Valerio raised a knife above his head, preparing to impale his brother before Sebastian quickly fired a round and blew the former doctor's head to chunks. Jimenez watched in horror, mouth agape as he saw his now deceased brother lying on the hardwood floor. Ash put his shoulder on the man, "Don't get any easier, no matter how many times it happens." The doctor turned his head, face somber. "Do you want us to bury him?" Ash asked. "No, no time. I'll... I'll be fine."

"Alright." Ash looked at Sebastian who was looking over the screaming corpse on the table. "What's up, dic?" Sebastian stared down, "He was, he was looking for something."

"Looking for what?" Without saying a word, Sebastian took out his knife and plunged it through the body's chest, ripping a cavity open like a butcher might do a stubborn chicken. He then put his hand inside and started shifting around, squelching noises and an unpleasant smell assaulting the men's senses. "Ugh," Ash's face scrunched, "How are you okay with that?"

"Ohhhhh!" Without warning, the corpse lurched at Sebastian's face and wailed, causing him to fall backwards. Ash then punched the body with his right hand, making a sickening crack as he broke one or two of its bones. The room was silent before Ash looked at Sebastian, "I hope you got what you wanted, chief."

"Yeah," Sebastian opened his hand to reveal a key which he pocketed. Ash then sifted through his bag and got out a clear bottle. "Purell?"

"Why do you have that?" Jimenez asked incredulously. "I've dealt with so much gross stuff that Wendy asked I bring this. Might get cursed but at least I won't get sick." Sebastian brushed it aside, "Thanks, but I don't need it."

"We'll see when dinner comes around."

The trio exited the late Valerio Jimenez's house to hear a boy shrieking in the distance. "That was Leslie!" Jimenez gasped. "We need to get to him before he attracts more of those things." Sebastian stated. The three followed a dirt path to another house. Ash kicked it open before they rushed inside. The three split up to search the rooms before Jimenez called to them. In his area were stairs that led to a stone corridor. To the right was a door which Sebastian quickly opened. There they found a room illuminated with red light. An indecipherable wall of pictures and text was to their right and at the far end was a curtain. The men walked slowly, guns ready and Jimenez behind the other two. Sebastian grasped the white cloth and silently counted to three. At three he ripped it open to find Leslie, shaking and shielding his face. "Hey, where've you been jitterbug?" Ash asked warmly. "Where, where, where?" Jimenez pushed past the detective and hunter and tried to comfort Leslie before the boy started screaming, "Settle down Leslie, settle down." All of a sudden, the door swung open prompting Ash to get out his chainsaw and Sebastian his pistol. Out came a Haunted in hospital garb and whose face had a dozen small, erect tentacles obscuring its eyes and mouth. "How many are there?" Jimenez asked fearfully. "I don't know," Sebastian stated, "I can't see them." Ash lowered his weapon, "Are you kidding? It's right there, plain as day!" Sebastian stared at him. "What?" The Haunted then shambled with a limp towards them. "Ah, see that?" Ash pointed, "He's barely even running!" Ash revved up his chainsaw and walked toward the Lovecraftian Haunted. "Williams!" Ash looked back with a smile before shoving his blade through the monster's chest, his companions gasping as it became visible. "Watch and learn, kiddos." The S-Mart employee sawed upwards, bisecting the monster's head. As it tumbled down, Ash turned and smiled. Sebastian emotionlessly holstered his gun while Jimenez and Leslie began to exit. Ash wordlessly packed up his chainsaw as he followed the doctor and patient. When he left, he saw Jimenez in front of a wall; the wall where the stairs were _supposed_ to be. "What the hell!?" He yelled in frustration, "Where are the fricking stairs!?"

"I, I don't know." Jimenez breathed. "We must be collectively losing our minds." Sebastian stated. At that moment, Leslie dug his face in his hands and whispered, "Losing our minds. Losing our minds." He suddenly threw his gaze upwards and screamed, "Losing our minds! Losing our minds! Losing our minds!" A white noise rang out and appearing at the end of the hallway was the cloaked man. When they turned around, Jimenez gasped, "Ruvik. So it was you." Ash, on the other hand, smiled and waved, "Hey, buddy, good to see you again. You mind if you pull off another trick and get us outta here." Leslie screamed while Sebastian turned to Ash, "You know this guy?"

"Uh, kinda. He got me out of those cuffs you put on me. So how 'bout it sport, willing to do ol' Williams another solid?" Ruvik remained silent. "Aw, come on pal." As Ash neared the pale figure, Jimenez cried, "No, don't follow him!" Sebastian was a foot's distance from Ash when suddenly, they were the only two people in the hallway; a door in front and an endless expanse behind them. "Was not expecting that." Sebastian gritted his teeth. "What did you _do_?"

"Easy, partner. I'm sure whatever's going on is behind that door." But when he reached for the handle, the door appeared further down. "Okay, behind _that_ door." Again the S-Mart employee reached for the handle and again it vanished further. "Okay, it was funny the first time, but let's be serious here." The same action and result. "Goddammit kid! I thought we were cool!"

"Let me try." Sebastian approached the door. Suddenly, it swung open heralding a deluge of crimson blood. The two flung their hands up to shield their faces before the flood consumed them.

When the wave settled, the two found themselves knee-deep in blood in a rusty slaughterhouse surrounded by human bodies. "Ugh," Ash groaned as he spat, "I think some of it got in my mouth."

"Where are we?"

"Well, if I had to guess, we're knee-deep in a shit ton of health code violations. Other than that, no clue."

"Look!" Sebastian pointed to a door above the pool which was covered in oozing, pink flesh to which Ash exclaimed, "Ugh!" They began to wade through when Ruvik appeared in front of the door from a burst of static. "Hey!" Ash called to the scarred man. "You know, I don't appreciate gettin' jerked around and pummeled by enough red juice that the Kool-Aid man would be sick of it!" Ruvik simply gave a wry smile as red particles flowed from his sleeves and fell into the blood around the duo. When they stopped, a horde of Haunted began rising from nothing, surrounding Ash and Sebastian. Ruvik made a subtle chuckle before disappearing, leaving his mass of rotting flesh to deal with the interlopers. Ash quickly took out his chainsaw while Sebastian cocked his shotgun. "Okay," the S-Mart employee revved up the chainsaw. "Let's party."

The monsters snarled and shambled their way through the murky viscera. Ash charged, chainsaw raised, and began chopping off body parts with total abandon. Meanwhile, Sebastian stood his ground, pumping round after round into his opponents. The killing went on for two minutes. Eventually, all of the Haunted sunk back into the goo that made them. At the same time, the flesh that barred them vanished. "Sweet." Ash put back his chainsaw and rummaged through his bag. "Yo dick, catch!" Sebastian grabbed the projectile to see it was a pack of shotgun shells. The detective looked at him sternly, "You don't need to keep giving me your ammo."

"Yeah, well, I'm kind of a nice guy and that's what nice guys do." Sebastian pocketed the shells before heading to the door. The detective opened it to see a long industrial corridor with giant pipes running on the left wall.

The two started down it, eventually coming to a door on their right. Sebastian jiggled the handle before ramming it with his shoulder. He sighed, "No use." They continued before finding a room at the end with a medical cabinet, a patient bed and curtain and operating lights. In the center was a human body in patient garb surrounded by dark flesh. As the men approached it, a geyser of blood erupted from the patient while a spine-tingling scream pierced the air. From it came two cream-colored clawed hands about the size of a man's torso. Two more hands and the body followed. It was a girl whose long black hair covered her face. Two of her hands acted as front legs while she crawled with her human legs. The two men were speechless as she crept slowly, making a squishing noise as she moved. All of a sudden, the monster charged at the two men, arms outstretched, eager to trap her new victims. "Look out!" Sebastian pushed the dumbstruck Ash behind him before shooting with his pistol. The spider-like creature vanished in a haze of red mist before appearing inches from the detective's face. "What-!" The girl slapped Sebastian's gun hand to the side before the other grabbed him by the chest and lifted him upwards. She wound her hand back to impale him while Sebastian raised his hands in desperate defiance.

"Hey, Spider-bitch!" The monster swiveled her head to see Ash. "Check this out." The demon hunter lifted a wooden carving of an eagle head with jeweled eyes. Upon seeing it, the girl screamed, dropped Sebastian and backed away, her body audibly sizzling. "You okay, dick?" Sebastian got to his feet, "What the hell is that?"

"Nifty, ain't it? It's the idol of metchu- mati- mara- the point is it's supposed to be like kryptonite to spider demons." The beast continued to shriek as Ash kept the artifact up. "Fine," Sebastian conceded without any questions, "Let's just find a way out of here."

"Yeah, but-" The monster tried to lunge at the duo before Ash advanced, discouraging the demon, "The grown-ups are talking now. You wait your turn little lady." They decided to backtrack the hallway; the monster following but still unable to grab them. "Hey, dick, think I could make her do tricks?"

"Focus, Williams!"

"Shake, shaaake. Roll over." The Krimson City detective grunted in disapproval before they reached the door they passed earlier. All of the sudden, a male Haunted burst in, hitting Ash and causing him to drop the only thing protecting them. It rolled in front of the demon before she used one of her arms to stomp it into the floor. "Oh, that's not good," Ash stated before his partner shouted, "Run!" With renewed fervor, their adversary charged with a frightening bellow. The duo pushed the Haunted as they dashed through the door and rounded some corners. At a room with a ladder going downwards, Sebastian caught a glimpse of a big red button and promptly slammed his fist against it. A metal shutter fell down before the spider girl could get to them; she pounded and shrieked, leaving a few large dents that spooked Ash before she stopped. Ash struggled to catch his breath, "Are, are we okay now?"

"Yeah," Sebastian panted, "She's not getting past that door."

"Oh thank God." The sound of shrieking and ripping flesh broke the calm. The two looked at the corner to see their pursuer rising from a corpse. The men dashed to the ladder and slid down before the monster fully emerged. Ash and Sebastian ran down a narrow tiled hallway as the demon crawled on the wall where the ladder was. The two dove into an elevator which closed just as the beast charged. They tried to catch their breath when Ash looked down to see a body at their feet. "Oh God." Sebastian hurried to light a match as Ash kept yelling, "Burn it! Burn it now!" The detective dropped the match and the body burst into flames. Ash breathed a sigh of relief.

Just then, the elevator stopped at a cramped utility room... with a corpse in the corner. "Are you fricking kidding me!?" Again, the monster came from the body as the duo rushed to a door on the left. A few steps in and a click was heard. At the end of the metal hallway, a metal hatch was beginning to close over the exit. The two found their second wind and sped to their waning freedom. Before they were shut in, Sebastian did a baseball slide out while Ash dove through. Sebastian stopped quickly but Ash nearly fell off the platform they were on had he not grabbed a bar holding the metal railing.

They took a few breaths to compose themselves before picking themselves up. "Jesus," Ash exclaimed, "Doubt old Indy could get out of a jam like that, huh?" Sebastian wore his trademark stony face and stated, "Come on, we need to find Leslie and the doctor before anything else comes to kill us."

"Right behind ya, dick." The two looked around to see they were on a winding metal staircase to a black pit. Around them were pipes leading downwards, illuminated by red light. After walking down two flights a white noise rang out. Sebastian grunted in pain and held his head trying to get a grip on himself. When it stopped, a pale man appeared, a smile on his grim face: Ruvik. "You!" Sebastian shouted. He whipped out his pistol and shot at the specter. In flashes of static, Ruvik passed through the bullets, getting closer and closer. "Step aside, chief!" Ash shoved passed Sebastian and fired a round of buckshot from his boomstick. Ruvik suddenly winced and looked toward his left hand and raised it. Blood was dripping from a hole in his palm, causing his face to twist to a distasteful frown. Before Ash could finish the job, Ruvik disappeared. Ash lowered his gun and gave a smug grin. "See that? Shaking in his boots now." Sebastian opened his mouth to speak when the structure they were on spontaneously collapsed, the two men going along for the ride. All that was heard was the creaking of metal and Ash screaming, "GODDAMMIIIIIT!" as they fell into the abyss.


	5. Room For Three With a Side of Squid

"-IIIIITTT! Oof!" Ash landed on a rug whose colors looked faded. He coughed and groaned, slowly picking himself and dusting his pants. "Crazy ride, eh chief? Chief?" Ash turned around to see that he was in a foyer of sorts. To his left was a wooden concierge desk with rows of keys behind it. Two staircases led to an upper level with a large oak door and another on his level. There was no light but that of a moon shining in, giving a waxy glow to the area.

Surrounding the room were large windows that peered into a snowy, mountainous landscape. Rather than take the time to study this new place, Ash cupped his hands and shouted, "Paging Detective Seb! You're needed in the creepy wherever the hell this is." After a brief silence, a squishing noise was heard followed by low growling. Ash grabbed his shotgun and cocked it, scanning the room for any movement. "Where are you, ya little bastard?" He made a couple of dramatic swivels, eyes focused on the dim room. "Oh, right." He lowered his gun and took out his flashlight, quickly going back to aiming. Just then, a viscous substance dripped onto his shoulder. "Ugh." He wiped it up before his eyes grew. He slowly pointed upwards to find the same creature that attacked him on the gurney, dangling right above him.

It suddenly shrieked and detached, arms spread and tongue hanging out. Ash screamed as the creature fell on his face, its tentacled legs wrapping around his upper body. "Get, the, fuck, OFF!" Ash struggled and ran around like a chicken with its head cut off before his right hand caught what felt like a neck. He then crushed it, blood oozing from his hand's crevices as the squid creature yelled a dying cry of pain. Ash then ripped it off his face and threw it to the ground where it lay motionless.

"Okay," he cried to his surroundings. "If there are ANY MORE of you jump-scare bastards, come out now, so I can blow your heads off and we'll be DONE with it!" Silence. "That's what I thought." He picked up his shotgun and was about to leave when the door on his floor suddenly opened. He turned, shotgun raised to see Leslie running out, followed by Jimenez. The doctor then quickly shoved the doors closed and barred them with his body. After a few thuds from the other side, he looked up, astonished, to see Ash. "Doc? What are you...?"

"There's no time! Is the detective with you?"

"Nope."

"Terrific." He sighed, "Can you still fight?" Ash made a cocky grin, "Open the door and we'll find out." The doctor sighed again. "Alright, just be ready to..."

"Wait a sec." Ash slung his pack and rummaged to find a bottle with liquid and a cloth on it and a lighter. "Now I'm ready." Jimenez nodded as Ash lit the cloth. The doctor dashed to the side as the doors slammed open revealing a dozen Haunted, all snarling with outstretched hands. "It's time to dance..." The S-Mart employee threw the bottle at one of their faces, knocking it over as the bottle shattered, releasing a fireball that incinerated the group. Leslie and Jimenez shielded their faces while Ash closed his eyes, "The disco inferno." When the flames died, all that was left was an ashen mark on the ground. Ash then went to the doctor and offered a hand. "Thank you," he nodded before rising. "So what'd I miss?"

"Well, after you and detective Castellanos vanished, we were chased by those things to this place."

"Yeah, I gotta ask, do you know where we are?" Jimenez glanced around him before talking to himself, "Yes, the conference where I first met-"

"Met who?"

"It doesn't matter. What does matter," the doctor walked to his patient's side. "Is that we get Leslie to safety, then we can get out."

"Out of where? This hotel?"

"It's more complicated than that. Let's just go." Jimenez held onto Leslie's shoulder as he helped the boy up the stairs, their protector strolling in the back. About halfway up, Ash broke the silence, "Ah! I almost forgot! What's the deal with old spooky?" Jimenez turned his head, "I'm sorry?"

"You know, Casper the not-so friendly ghost. You called him something, uh, Rubik?"

"Uh, Ruvik, yes."

"Yeah that's the guy! What do you know about him?"

"Just that... He's someone we can't fight."

"Really? Cause I _just_ blew a hole in his hand not too long ago." The doctor swiveled his head, "You, you _hit_ him?"

"No, I took him out to a fancy restaurant to celebrate our two week anniversary. Yes, I shot the bastard!" Jimenez was stupefied, "No. No, that, that shouldn't be possible. He's capable of conscious influence, there's no way he could be hit by bullets."

"Well me and Moe beg to differ." The confused doctor shook his head, "Fine. If you're being serious, than we might have a better chance at getting out alive than I thought." At the top of the stairs, Jimenez pushed open the doors to reveal a large auditorium. Only the stage was illuminated with its lights on while the rows of seats sat in darkness. The three walked slowly down towards the stage, the two men scanning for foes in front of them. Suddenly, Ash stopped as viscous green fluid fell on his shoulder for the second time. He cocked his shotgun and aimed upwards, "Alright you little freak! Come on out and maybe I won't strangle you to death like your pal!" Jimenez spun, frantic, "What in God's name are you doing?!" he hissed. Ash wore a grin, "Don't worry, if it's anything like the last one we should be fi-" Ash's smile vanished when he could faintly see a squid creature the size of a tiger with six tentacles, two forward two rear and two on its back, hanging down. It bared its razor sharp teeth and made a low growl. "Ah, shit." It made a screeching hiss before dropping onto the group. Before Ash could get a shot in, the monster swatted him through the control booth window, hitting the floor with his back. "No!" the doctor yelled before both he and Leslie were constricted by Quell's tentacles. It screamed at Ash before sliding to the stage and retreating behind stage left.

Ash groaned and winced in pain as he tried to get up without bending his back too much. When he got on his feet, he shook his head. "Gonna need more than that if you wanna take down the king." He opened the door and turned to the stage to see Dr. Jimenez looking at an invisible crowd, explaining something scientific that Ash had no understanding of. Rather, he raised his arm up and yelled, "Hey, doc." He ran to the stage, but the doctor failed to acknowledge him. Ash stopped as he got close, noticing that this Jimenez was slightly transparent. He then waved his metal hand through it to confirm it was a fake. "-and that concludes my presentation," the apparition finished. "I thank you and wish you a good day." It then strolled towards stage left to a door before vanishing. "Oookay." Ash hesitantly followed the shade, opening the door slowly. In front of him were Jimenez's clone and another figure in a black suit and dark glasses. "That was quite enlightening, Dr. Jimenez."

"Oh, thank you Mr..."

"Who I am is not important. Rather, who I represent is what you should be focused on, and what we can offer." Jimenez held his chin. "Intriguing. Shall we go someplace more private?"

"Exactly what I was about to say, doctor." The two turned away from Ash before vanishing. Without saying anything, Ash followed their direction to a back stage door. He opened it to reveal a twirling black staircase leading downwards. Against better judgement, he descended through the darkness, his flashlight barely illuminating his path. At the bottom was a barrier of a pink, web-like substance. "Well," he took his chainsaw from his back, "Time to get dirty." It took a grueling minute of shredding the sticky goo before he made a path through. As he entered, he winced as a foul odor entered his nose. He shone his flashlight to reveal that he was in a sewage pipe. "Fan-frigging-tastic." Ash slowly walked through before unexpectedly stepping on...something. "Are you kidding me?!" He groaned before pressing on. When he had made five steps, he heard a bestial gasping coming from behind. He spun around to see, illuminated by his flashlight, a hideous man-sized monster. It was bipedal but its body had sores all over it with hands that consisted of a loose claw. The most disgusting part was its head; the left side was a grey human head that looked pushed to the side while the right was populated with red tumors and a ravenous set of fangs. Startled, Ash jumped back and loaded his shotgun. The creature was nearly upon him when he clicked his boom stick closed and shoved it in the human side. "Not today, handsome." He pulled the trigger, causing the left side to pop like a blood-filled zit. The beast fell backwards, arms splayed as it gasped. Ash blew his gun, "That'll teach ya." He turned back on his path and when he was a good four feet away, a splash came from behind him. "For the love of-" He twisted just in time to catch the AlterEgo by the teeth with his right hand. He struggled to speak. "Didn't I kill you?" Ash grunted as the monster kept trying to chomp down on his shoulder. Without thinking, Ash began whaling on his attacker by repeatedly punching its side with his left fist. "Why, don't, you, go, down!?" Eventually, the creature's tooth snapped off, blood spewing from the orifice and causing the beast to step back. Ash took advantage of the situation by grabbing his boom stick and shoving it in the AlterEgo's mouth. "Round two, asshole!" Boom! The shotgun blew a hole through the beast's head. Unable to take the punishment, the monster fell down backwards. Ash breathed heavily, "Just try for round three."

"Help! Heeelp!" Leslie's voice rang throughout the tunnel. "Oh, crap!" Ash turned and started down the pipe, teeth grit while dashing towards the boy's voice. He was so focused that he barely noticed that in front of him was a ledge. When his foot hit the bare air, he fell once more into darkness, screaming. Eventually, his back hit the ground causing him to exclaim and close his eyes. When he opened them, he found that he was in a dimly lit, carpeted hallway flanked by doors with numbers. "Uh, wasn't I just in a sewer?" The demon hunter picked himself up and walked down slowly. "I swear if there's another fountain of blood..." A loud creak broke the silence as one door became ajar. "What the...?" Ash went to said door and pulled it open. Inside were the apparitions of Jimenez and the suited man from before. The doctor was focusing on pouring wine from a bottle into two glasses while the suit stood there, observing with silence. "So," Jimenez began, "Care for a drink?" The suit held his hand, "No, thank you. I would prefer we talk about your research."

"Yes, yes, of course."

"And you believe that connection is possible?"

"Absolutely. Granted I don't have the resources to test on a larger scale but-"

"What if you could?"

"What?"

"Have you heard of Beacon Mental Hospital?"

"In Krimson city? Yes, a real up-and-comer."

"How would you like to be its director?" Jimenez nearly choked on his drink. "Are, are you serious?"

"Absolutely. We will provide you with the materials necessary to continue your work, under the condition you do what we say and give results. Clear?" Jimenez looked down into his glass before looking back up. "Crystal." The two shook hands. "Welcome to Mobius Director Jimenez." The specters vanished as the room turned black, a white noise piercing the air. "What the hell?" Just then, an AlterEgo grabbed Ash from behind, its putrid breath causing Ash to wince. Before it could bite into the hunter's shoulder, Ash ran backwards into the wall, slamming the creature against it. It barked in surprise and let go, Ash took advantage by taking a few steps away and facing it. "You think that's never happened to me before?" He took out his chainsaw and revved it. "Now to put you down for good! Rahhh!" The S-Mart employee swung it right on the monster's neck. It screeched and moaned as the instrument ripped through, blood spattering on the walls and floor. When it was halfway through, its movements became weaker as it let one more whimper. When Ash was through, both the AlterEgo and its conjoined head fell to the floor. Ash smirked before giving the head a quick kick in celebration. "Now," he turned to the door, "To get the hell out of here." When he opened and stepped through the door, he was surrounded by darkness. Before he clicked on his flashlight the shunk of industrial lights rang out as a basement area became illuminated. On the far wall were both Jimenez and Leslie, stuck with more of the pink gunk from before. Jimenez was passed out while Leslie was darting his eyes around. When he noticed Ash, the boy stopped. "Ashley. Ashley! Help!" Ash strolled to the boy. "Hold your horses kid, I'll get ya down." He whipped out his chainsaw and pulled the chord. "And the name's Ash, if you don't mind." As he started to rip through, Leslie began shaking. "Careful, kid." Ash reached for the patient's shoulder. "Else I might cut through something-" when Ash touched Leslie, he was instantly taken to a room illuminated by dozens of computer screens. "Important. Wait, what the hell?" In front of Ash was a single revolving chair. The figure in the chair slowly got to its feet and turned. It was Ruvik. His face had no smirk but a look of annoyance. "You are not supposed to be here," he stated. "Second time today, what are the odds?"

"Get out." In a flash the world around Ash was replaced by the room Leslie was in. He looked down to find that a large tentacle had him gripped by the waist. "Oh, that's not good." He was then jerked towards the face of Quell. After a few seconds of silence, the Quell screeched and tossed Ash to the other side of the room. Back hitting the wall and soon his face to the floor, he groaned in pain. As he tried to pick himself up, he saw Leslie sinking into the wall. The patient flailed his arms, his screams awaking a dazed Jimenez. When he turned to his patient his eyes flew open, "Leslie!"

"Ashley! Ashley!" Those were his last words before completely being submerged. After the process, the squid creature leapt off of the wall to the floor and made a hissing scream at the demon hunter. "Alright," the S-mart employee groaned, "Fool me once, shame on you..." He took out his shotgun. "Fool me twice," Chick-chick. "Get a face full of buckshot." He aimed at the creature's head but before Ash could pull the trigger, the monster vanished. "Shit!" He drew his gun close and walked slowly, making quick and jerky movements to keep himself from getting caught off guard. Out of nowhere, Jimenez yelled: "Behind you!" Ash spun to see four leech-like creatures the size of boots slither at frightening speed. When one was near Ash, it engorged and jumped at his face. "Aw hell!" He stumbled over his feet and fell on his rear just before the parasite exploded in a small shower of green goo. The subsequent blast managing to kill its fellow leeches. "Kamikaze leeches," Ash said incredulously. "Gotta admit that's a first."

"There's more!" The doctor was right; another group had fallen out of a large pipe on the ceiling. Ash looked to see a faint outline of the Quell and smirked, "So there's where mommy's hiding." He dashed to the creature, using one round to blow its spawn to bits. When he was underneath, he aimed upwards and shouted, "Honey, I'm home!" He fired his second round into the monster, causing it to fall right next to Ash. As it tried to fight off its daze, Ash threw down his boom stick, revved up the chainsaw and drove it into the top of the Quell. The monster squealed in pain but Ash kept going, red and green goo splattering everywhere. It thrashed and struck the air with its tentacles, but the beast was pinned by the instrument ripping through its flesh. Eventually it let one last screech before it gave up, its head bowing and limbs collapsing. Ash kicked the corpse to make sure it was dead before ripping his chainsaw out and turning to face the doctor. He grinned, "Sushi anyone?" The room was silent. "Tough crowd."

"If you're quite done," Jimenez scolded. "Would you mind getting me down?"

"Sheesh, lighten up a little, doc." A rustling sound suddenly appeared behind Ash. He swerved to see the Quell's corpse dissolve into red particles and dash away just like the Sadist. "Ugh," Ash stamped on a group of them, squishing them into a red paste. All of a sudden, a screech of an animal in anguish rang out from everywhere prompting Ash to cover his ears. With his arms pinned, Jimenez could only yell in pain. The walls began shaking as the red particles dashed at an even quicker pace into a nearby crevice. When they were gone, the screeching stopped, but the rumbling began to intensify. "Get me down! Please!" Jimenez begged. "Right." Ash grabbed his boom stick and sprinted to the doctor, his chainsaw roaring to life as he pulled the ripcord. While he started sawing the pink goo, pieces of the ceiling began collapsing from across the room. "Oh, shit."

"Hurry!" The S-mart employee threw caution out the window and put his weight into cutting the webbing, the substance flying everywhere. He soon shredded enough that Jimenez tore out on his own. "Quickly!" The doctor jumped down just before a particularly large section of concrete crushed him. The shaken doctor grabbed the hunter's hand and ran towards a black door that Ash failed to notice. They burst through and slammed it shut. "Aaugh." Ash sighed. "Jesus, I'm getting my cardio for the day."

"Ahem. Yes. Now, please. We must find Leslie."

"Yeah. Just as soon as we find out where we are." The duo turned to find themselves at the theater from earlier. "Are you fricking kidding me!? We went in a goddamn circle!"

"Well, not exactly."

"Well, couldn't we have ended up in a _good_ theater like the one I go to?!" A mist began creeping by their feet and slowly started engulfing the stage. "At least that place had popcorn! And no giant squid things!" As he continued ranting, the auditorium around the two men faded rapidly and was soon replaced by a new venue. "And another thing...!" Ash looked around and raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Hey!" he smiled. The scene around him was that of a deserted cinema lobby. The walls were beige while the carpet beneath their feet was red and green. To their right was a clear counter with various snacks and a menu board above it. At the end were two bathrooms and to the left was a corridor. "That's what I'm talking about!" Ash went to the snack counter while Jimenez scanned the room. "How could he... What sense is there in...?"

"Hey, doc!" Ash broke the doctor's train of thought with a bucket of popcorn in hand. "Want a bite?"

"No. Thank you."

"More for me." Ash stuck his left hand in and shoveled a fistful of popcorn into his mouth as he watched the pondering doctor. Jimenez looked back, distracted by the crunching when his eyes lit up. "Wait. That's safe to eat?"

"Yep, and with just the right amount of salt. I tell you, I had some good times here. Saw some great movies here. Transformers 2, Blade, Inglorious Bastards all that shit. And there," he pointed to the bathroom, "Is where I had even better times. Know what I'm sayin'?" Jimenez was too busy thinking to be disgusted. He suddenly turned to Ash's face. "It all makes sense."

"Uh, what does?"

"All of this. How you can hurt Ruvik, why this place changed. You're-" The building shook violently, causing Ash to spill his popcorn while the two tried to keep their balance. "Listen to me!" Jimenez called, "I don't know how long we have! If you are the cause of this, you can do more!"

"What!?"

"Look for me, I'll explain everything!" From the floor, a pair of chalky arms grabbed Jimenez, pulling him down before he could scream. Then darkness.

When the lights came on, Ash was in a dimly lit, narrow hallway flanked by framed pictures. The wallpaper was that of red vertical stripes with ivy. Ash crept slowly when he looked to a picture on his right. Upon inspection, it depicted Kidman trapped in a clear box with two large combination dials and water which went up to her waist. Rather than be startled, Ash looked at her shirt which was see-through, exposing a black bra. "Nice." The S-Mart employee was ripped from the scene when he heard the screaming of the spider woman from before. He grabbed his shotgun and turned. Rather than seeing her, it was a painting of a young woman with raven hair, clad in a pristine red dress. Ash leaned in to get a better look. Every time he blinked, it changed slightly, the girl's hand reaching to her face. She put her finger to her lips and from her image came a long shhhhh. In a second it turned blank; a black landscape the only thing left.

Just then, a giggling came from the end of the hall. Ash groaned from the constant teasing but followed it anyway. When he reached it, there was a safe that looked similar to Kidman's prison, but was steel. It creaked open slightly, prompting Ash to frown. He reached the corner with his left hand and gently eased it ajar. All of a sudden, it flew open and a group of tentacles grabbed his head. Ash made muffled screams as the creature was hell-bent on tearing his head off. His consciousness was fading, darkness slowly sinking in. Before he could be devoured, he saw something: it was him, but with white eyes, decayed skin, claws and pointed teeth. It opened its mouth and bellowed, it's cries reverberating around him. Then a higher scream rang as the darkness turned to light. Ash closed his eyes and fell into the abyss.

 **Granted, I kind of rushed this part but that's because I'm excited for the next which has been in my head for a long time. Till then.**


	6. Hanging Around Pt 1

When Ash came to, he was lying on a hillside, in the distance a sun peeked above a canyon. In front of it was a large body of water and a steep drop. The dazed hunter rose and put his hand on his head. "Just what the hell was that?" He looked up and saw that a dirt path was near him leading to ruins of a crumbling stone temple to his right. "Hey!" Ash turned to the left to see Sebastian, alive, well, and with little expression on his face. "Hey! Dick!" Ash got to his feet and ran down, his face wearing a smile. When he got down he looked into the detective's eyes. "I been looking everywhere for ya! Where'd you scamper off too?"

"I...don't know. I think I was in a hospital and Joseph was there and Kidman was trapped..."

"You mean in that safe that looked like it belonged in a Vegas magic show?" Sebastian narrowed his eyes. "How do you know that?"

"Saw it in a picture."

"What?" Before they could continue, three shots rang out as a murder of crows scattered from the ruins. Sebastian immediately ran, leaving Ash high and dry. He soon followed the detective to a wooden gate. Each took a door and pushed. Lying in the small courtyard was the other male detective from earlier. "Joseph!" Sebastian knelt by his partner before the man groaned and put a gloved hand to his head. Sebastian helped him up. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Hey, hello." The duo turned to Ash. "I don't think we've had the pleasure. I'm Ash, deadite exterminator and all-around bad-ass and you are...?"

"Joseph, Joseph Oda." He outstretched his hand and Ash shook it. "Well nice to meet ya Joey."

"It's Joseph."

"Sure. Anyway, what happened? Last I checked you weren't with us when we got out of the world's biggest pancake maker."

"He means the city." Sebastian clarified. "Well I don't know what happened before I ran into Sebastian, but after we got separated for the second time, I had to fight through more of those things. Luckily I haven't had any more...episodes."

"Episodes?" Before Ash could get an answer, the crunching of branches was heard. Sebastian grit his teeth, "Shit. We got company." He looked to the ladders leading to scaffolding. "Come on!" As the trio began climbing, the grueling figure of a Haunted came from the woods, then another and another and another until a dozen of the ghouls were congregated, some holding knives and clubs. Fortunately the men managed to duck through the stone windows before any started on the ladder. "Shit!" Joseph exclaimed. He ran to a door in the corner planted with enough C-4 to blow a bank vault. "The door's booby trapped!" Sebastian came behind him. "Can you disarm it?"

"Yeah, just keep 'em off my back till then."

"No prob, Joe." Ash went to the window. "From here it'll be like shooting fish in a-" he was cut off when a Molotov cocktail flew by his face and landed in the corner, setting the wooden table ablaze. "Seriously!?" Growling drew his attention back out the window as more haunted climbed up the ladder with pitchforks, torches and knives. "Why are the words 'role reversal' in my head now?" Sebastian leapt to the other window. "Get your head on straight if you wanna keep it, Williams!"

"Right, right." The two began shooting at the haunted that made it to the top of the ladders, each covering the other when they had to reload. At some point, Sebastian switched over to his pistol. Ash took notice and picked out a case of shotgun shells. "Dick, catch." The detective grabbed them in the air and loaded one in just in time to blow away a haunted that was about to chomp on his face. "Thanks." Eventually, a satisfying beep and click rang out. The shooters turned to see Joseph waving towards them. "The door's open, move it!" The two ran from the windows as two large, fat haunted with axes climbed through. They followed a stone staircase downwards to a kind of cellar. In the corner was another door trap. "Are you frigging kidding?" Joseph got to work as his protectors went to the staircase, readying their guns for the assault. Just then, the wooden ceiling cracked loudly and a hole opened through. From it a haunted fell and landed on its legs. Rather than collapsing from sustaining a probable fracture, it charged towards Joseph. Before it could chomp on Sebastian's partner, he grabbed a two-handed axe next to him and swung. After a sickening squelch, the haunted and its head fell to the stone floor. "Nice one!" Ash gave a thumbs up. "Thanks." Before more back-patting could occur, three more holes opened up with a subsequent visitor from each. Joseph got back to work as the duo got behind him, blasting any freak that got near them. More and more kept coming at an even more rapid pace. "How's that door coming Joe?!"

"I need more time!" Sebastian looked to his right and his eyes lit up. Without warning, he ran to the right behind a wall. Before Ash could say, "What the hell?" Sebastian kicked a red barrel with a flammable logo at the horde. "Now!" Ash smirked as he let off a round that caused the barrel and all of the haunted to burst into flames. They screamed as some of the creatures swiveled around in a desperate attempt to escape death while others fell and fidgeted like dead insects. It was short lived as more haunted began dropping from the rafters.

Ding! Click! Both gunners knew what that meant and ran out of the opened door with Joseph down a stone corridor. When they reached the end, both detectives slammed two heavy doors shut before Ash brought down the wood lock. The haunted howled and banged before eventually giving up.

Each man used the time to catch their breath. "There," Ash sighed, "We good?"

"Doubt it," Joseph stated.

"Right, let's move." Sebastian was the first to see where they were. It was a wide expanse with various stone buildings connected by wooden planks as walkways on top. Below them was a chasm that led to crags which looked like they could skewer metal. At the very far end was a stone tower which, unlike everything else, seemed to be in impeccable condition. Before anyone could make a remark, Sebastian reached down to a metal briefcase. He opened the latches and inside was a long-range rifle with a wooden stock. He strapped it to his back and looked to the left, eyes widening as he saw a collapsed bathroom mirror. "Ah, hold on for a minute, Joey. He's got some stuff he needs to do."

"I know," Joseph replied, "I saw him do it before." He shot a look at Ash, "And it's _Joseph_ if you don't mind." Ash had his hands up and shook them mockingly, "OK, _Joseph_."

After the awkward exchange, Sebastian regained consciousness. "You okay?" the other detective asked. Out of nowhere, a brick fell and shattered the mirror. "Well," Ash clapped his hands together, "I hope you got what ya needed. Let's roll."

"Wait." Joseph grabbed the S-Mart employee's shoulder. "We need to look around! Figure out a plan." Ash whipped out his chainsaw. "This is my plan, kiddo."

"You-"

"Hold that thought." To their left was a haunted scouting the area with its back turned. "Watch and learn." Before Joseph could stop him, Ash bounded toward the sentinel wearing a smirk. When he was a few feet away, he whistled at his prey. It turned around and Ash's smirk died as he saw it was carrying something in its hand: a one-hand shotgun. "Oh, shit." The haunted raised the gun to Ash's face ready to blow his head off. Before it could pull the trigger, a shot rang out and it dropped its weapon. It was Sebastian and his pistol. Taking advantage of the confusion, Ash revved up his chainsaw and plunged it into the haunted's face. Its limbs spasmed as its head was bisected before collapsing. For good measure, Ash kicked the corpse into the gorge. He turned, "I could'a handled that! Thanks anyway!" Joseph ran up to him. "Why didn't you listen?! You could have died!"

"Well I didn't thanks to our good friend, ain't that right chief?"

"Joseph's right. Charging in without-"

Crack! The trio turned their heads to a horde of haunted spilling out from a door. "Save the lecture for later dick." They took out their weapons, an axe, a pistol and a shotgun. Ash dove in while Joseph covered his rear and Sebastian gave covering fire. Ash shot as many as he could while Joseph finished off the leftovers. Soon enough, a half dozen haunted lay at their feet. "And that's how we do it!" Ash boasted. "Come on." Joseph stated. The three went through the door the haunted came through and went up a flight of stairs to the wooden scaffolding. When they were about to cross the walkway, the screeching of metal cried out. "Get down!" Joseph leapt at Ash and pushed him down. "What's the big-" He looked to see that the spot he was at had been impaled by five metal harpoons. They turned to the tower to see a haunted with a pepper grinder in a metal lift. "Sebastian!"

"On it!" Sebastian drew his rifle and fired. The haunted collapsed and accidentally fired its gun, causing harpoons to be haphazardly fired into the lift, severing the cables and bringing it down. Before they could celebrate, a group of haunted came out of the tower howling for blood. At that moment, another lift opened with another haunted/ pepper grinder combo. "Keep em off my back!" Sebastian ordered. "Got it!"

"Don't have to tell me twice!" They ran to the narrow bridge as Sebastian was lining up the shot. Bang! He hit the metal. "Shit!" The first haunted on both sides came hissing and growling. Ash switched to his chainsaw and whacked a haunted into the pit while Joseph split his attacker's head. Sebastian loaded another round.

Bang! A hit.

The lift fell and exploded, prompting the trio to move for the last one. Suddenly, the plank Joseph stepped on broke through, tripping him and causing him to teeter on the edge. "Joseph!"

"I got him!" Before Joseph plunged to his death, Ash grabbed him with his left hand and brought him from the brink. "Thanks."

"Now we're even."

"They're coming!" Sebastian called. The two got into position as Sebastian readied his gun. From up the ladder by Ash came a large haunted in priest's clothes with a gold necklace that looked like a combination of a cross and an eye. It tried to swipe at the S-Mart employee, placing himself near the edge. Ash dove around him and before the monster could turn, Ash did a Sparta kick right on his ass. "Not today padre." It was then that Sebastian lined up the killing shot on the lift haunted. The contraption dropped in a wreck of twisted metal. The benefit of this was that it blocked the passage that the haunted were coming through. After ten more haunted dropped, the fighting stopped. "That's the last of 'em." Ash stated. "So, where to fellas?"

"There." Joseph pointed towards the tower.

Ash took the lead while the detectives trailed. When Ash passed through one of the openings which lead to the door to the tower, it shut behind him, cutting off any way for Sebastian or Joseph to follow. Ash knocked, "Uh, guys, where'd you go?"

"We're still here," Joseph answered. The two moved back so they were visible. "We'll try to find another way. See if there's anything on your end!"

"Got it!" Ash turned to the tower entrance and approached it. When he was a few feet from it, the metal doors slowly shifted open. "Hey, guys! It's open! It's-" Ash was then greeted with the mangled visage of the Sadist. "Oh fuck." He drew his gun and took aim but the murderer quickly grabbed the barrels. The hunter only let off one round before the Sadist yanked it from his hands, punched him a good four feet and tossed the gun behind him. The hulking beast stepped out and the doors shut closed. Before Ash could get to his feet, his opponent had already revved up his chainsaw and charged. "Woah." The S-mart employee rolled to the side and got up, chainsaw in hand. Before he could pull the ripcord, the Sadist was nearly on top of him. Ash dodged, but at this rate, he was not going to get out with his head still attached. "Hey chief! Need a little help here!" They turned their heads to the scene, "Ash!" Joseph shouted. Sebastian looked to the side. "Keep him occupied, Williams."

"Easy, ugh, for you to say!" Sebastian ran to the upper scaffolding and took out his rifle. He crouched and breathed, aiming for the Sadist's head.

The Sadist raised his chainsaw preparing to bring it down on Ash's head.

Bang!

The bullet whizzed through the air right into the Sadist's skull. It wasn't enough to kill the monster, but the shock and pain caused the killer to drop his weapon and put a hand to his head. Ash grinned before bringing his chainsaw to life. He then struck through the Sadist's right armpit, pushing upwards as the appendage shook. He cut through and the arm fell. The beast was about to grab his equipment from his fallen hand. "No ya don't!" Ash plunged his weapon into his opponent's neck, the sound of pained bellowing mixing with the roaring of the chainsaw and splattering viscera. Before long, the head was severed and rolled down. The rest of the Sadist dropped to its knees before collapsing. Both of the doors to Ash's area and the door to the tower shot open. The two detectives came through and Ash turned to greet them. "Nice work there, eagle eye!"

"Thanks." Sebastian stated. Suddenly, something on the ground caught his eye: the shifting of red particles that the sadist was dissolving into. "I don't think so!" Ash did a one eighty and chased the dots as they scrambled away. Eventually, they decided to pull a lemming and went off of the cliff. Ash barely stopped as he teetered on the edge, arms waving to keep him from falling. Fortunately, Joseph grabbed his shoulder and pulled him onto his rear. The S-Mart employee was then offered a hand which he took. "What the hell was that about?" Sebastian demanded. "Well," Ash shrugged, "Last time I stepped on those things, something didn't like it."

"So your plan is to piss off something that could be extremely dangerous?"

"It's worked before."

"What? When?"

"Gimme a minute, it'll come to me."

"Hey!" Joseph was inside and had Ash's boom stick in his hand. He tossed it to its owner. "I think that belongs to you." Catching it in the air, Ash opened and closed the barrels to see if it was loaded. "Hope you're not expecting a finder's fee." He strapped it to his back and the trio entered the tower.

When they reached the top of the stairway, they noticed an elevator to their left. Its metal door kept closing with the head of a Haunted blocking it. Wordlessly, Sebastian lit a match and flicked it, incinerating the corpse. The ride up was quiet; no one said a word. The gate opened to a stone bridge linking the tower to terra firma. The sun shone beautifully contrasting with the burlap bags hanging, their bottoms soaked in blood. Ash scanned one before poking it. No response. He nudged it then kicked it. "Williams!" The hunter turned to the sour-faced detective. "Just checking." They took a few steps before Joseph broke the silence. "Do you think Kidman's okay?"

"I don't like how they used her as bait," Sebastian stated. "It's almost as if someone's toying with us..."

"Aaaauuughh!" A scream erupted from across the bridge. The trio ran half way to see it came from a large balding man with a mustache, his neck resting on the chopping block of a guillotine. Two Haunted held him down before the blade came down, severing his neck with a sickening squelch. "Jesus!" Ash groaned. The two monsters unceremoniously tossed the body to the side and moved towards the bridge. "There's only two," Joseph exclaimed. "We can take them!" He dashed in front of Ash, axe at the ready. Before the other two could follow, Joseph's foot caught a trip wire. There was a beep and the section of the bridge the detective passed exploded, scattering rubble and dust everywhere. While the duo on the bridge were fine, Joseph was apparently knocked out and soon found himself in the arms of two Haunted hungry for another execution. Ash turned to Sebastian, "Do something!" The detective nodded and pulled out his rifle and loaded a round in.

Bang!

The first shot popped the left Haunted's head like a balloon. Despite its comrade's death, the other Haunted kept slogging to the guillotine. "Shit." Sebastian loaded his gun and aimed again.

Bang!

The second shot whizzed between both Joseph's head and his captor's. The monster was seven feet from the archaic device.

"Come on, hawkeye!"

"Shut up!" The man grit his teeth and aimed. The monster was getting closer. Closer. Closer!

Bang!

The shot tore through the Haunted's skull, rending it to pieces. Joseph and the creature collapsed. It was then Joseph regained consciousness. He looked around and heaved the headless corpse off. "Hey!" Ash waved. "If you're done with your nap, find a way to get us across, will ya?!" Joseph grunted and grabbed a large plank. He took it to the cliff's edge and placed one edge on his side and the other on the opposite. The detective and S-Mart employee shimmied across, Ash trying his hardest not to look down. When they made it, Joseph looked at them with a grim face. "You should have just let them..." All of a sudden, he grabbed Sebastian's pistol, stepped back and aimed at his skull. Ash was wide-eyed and frozen while Sebastian got into a stance of sorts. "It's better this way," the bespectacled man began. "It's only a matter of time; we should just-" Sebastian leapt at his partner, knocking him to the ground and ripped the gun from his hand. Sebastian got up while Joseph kept down, "What the fuck!?"

"What he said!"

"I'm sorry!" Joseph cried with his hand to his head. "It's this place! It's getting to me!"

Sebastian sighed and put a hand on Joseph's shoulder. "Just hang in there. We'll be out soon."

"Thank you."

"Uh, not to interrupt your bromance, but there's about 5000 pounds of raw, angry flesh **over there**!" Across the bridge, a particularly large group of Haunted were making their way with torches, knives...and Molotov cocktails. Sebastian looked to his side to see a wooden gate with a crank. "Joseph, you get the door open! Williams, make sure no one gets across. I'll help Joseph here!"

"On it!"

"Well this'll be _fun_." Joseph and his partner went to the wheel while Ash kept his position by the plank. Sure enough, the Haunted began to walk on the plank. Ash cocked his shotgun and as soon as the first came halfway, he let a round loose. The Haunted fell to the side, revealing another shambling cohort. Ash blasted this one and the result was the same. However, as he tried to reload, the Haunted suddenly screamed and dashed towards the hunter. "Oh, shit." Ash grabbed the barrels of his boomstick and clubbed the zombie with the butt of his gun like a bat. The Haunted shrieked as it plummeted down. "Chew on that."

"Williams! Get over here!" Ash turned to see the gate was opened, Joseph already inside. Before he could dash to salvation, a Haunted in nun's ware hugged him around the neck. "What the hell?" Ash chocked. He gave a piggy-back ride trying to shake her off before a shot rang out and the woman fell. "Come on!" Sebastian cried, smoking pistol in hand. Ash ran as fast as he could through the gate before Sebastian followed. A portly Haunted was about to clear the gate when Sebastian quickly shot the wheel. The creature barely had time to look up as the wooden gate crushed him.

For ten seconds, all was quiet as the trio stared at the gate. They turned around and found they were in an old promenade with wooden stands of goods and a fifty-foot angel statue that looked like it was weeping. Exploring the area was uneventful until Ash found a hand-knit blanket over something. He peeled it off before seeing it was a tape recorder like the one from before. His eyes widened before taking a step back and shooting it with his boom stick. Sparks flew as it was blown to bits while the two detectives got their heads down, not knowing the cause of the shot. "Hey!" Sebastian cried after rising, "What the hell are you shooting at!?"

"Oh, uh, I thought I saw a rat."

"A rat?" Joseph asked, eyebrow raised. "Yup. Annoying little bastards. Can't, can't stand 'em."

"Fine," Sebastian said dismissively.

They continued past an iron gate to what looked like a graveyard with macabre sculptures and graves. "Joseph," Sebastian called. "Any idea where we are?"

"More like when; this architecture seems straight out of the Middle Ages."

"Mind telling us what that means, Mcfly?"

"Well it looks like they're all jumbled pieces, like fragmented memories. Cough! Cough!" The detective became hunched as he coughed violently in his hands. He nearly fell over had Sebastian not caught him. Ash joined him on the other shoulder. "Up ya go." Sebastian turned his head to the right. "There." He was pointing to what looked like a combination of a shack and mausoleum. "Come on." The trio moved in through a hole to a dirty room with blood, bones and animal cages. "Stay here," Sebastian ordered Ash. "Make sure nobody gets in."

"Sure, why not?" The two detectives shambled into a side room while Ash stood by the entrance. After a minute he groaned and sat on the floor. "Looks like we'll be a while." He reached into his bag and pulled out a brown bottle of beer. He flicked the top of with his right hand and drank. "Ahh! I deserve this."

Sebastian came out. "Hey, how's Joey doing?"

"He's better. He wants to check this place out; thinks there's something important." His eyes drifted to the bottle. "Uh, hey, you got another one of those?" Ash smirked, "Aren't you on the clock?"

"Just shut up and give me one."

"Lighten up, I'm just yanking your chain. Here." Ash grabbed one and tossed it to his reluctant partner. The detective twisted the lid off and sat next to the S-mart worker. As he lifted his left hand to take a drink, Ash's eyes wandered to the ring on his hand. "Hey."

"What?"

"You got a sweetheart?"

"What?"

"The ring?"

"Oh, uh, used to."

"Bummer. I know what that's like. 'Cept for me they kept dying or I had to leave 'em. Well all except Wendy."

"Wendy?"

"Oh, yeah. She's this great red-head. She drags me to the opera a couple times and yells at me when I fall asleep, but we've been going long and strong. In fact that's half the reason: she's lasted longer than anyone else."

"Longer?"

"Yeah. You see," he leaned in. "I deal with this kind of shit on a regular basis. Naturally it's a kind of occupational hazard. I used to go through girlfriends like a fat guy goes through an all-you-can-eat special. When I met Wendy though I knew she could handle it."

"How did you know?"

"Well, we got some time so I may as well tell you."

* * *

 **I usually like to correspond my chapters with the chapters in the game, but since this is so long I'm splitting it into two parts. Next time: how Ash met Wendy. Also, please warn me if you think I'm making Ash too much like Deadpool.**


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